The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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