Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
