Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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