Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
only you would photoshop your dick
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
