I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize