i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
