Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
