morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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