I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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