Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize