I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This house was built for laser tag.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
