GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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