How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
