I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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