you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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