So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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