So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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