Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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