So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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