Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
