I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
