I can tuck mytits in my pants
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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