After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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