p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
