Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
