Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
its not stalking. its research.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
