Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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