I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
