drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
