My room smells like vodka and shame
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
