I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
