oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she smelled like a LAN party
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
