We're like a lot better than the average bears
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize