Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
