How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
two words: eviction party
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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