Nicole vs. Life
Where is the hickey?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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