Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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