I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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