ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
