hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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