You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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