I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize