In America we eat man semen.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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