It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
