I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
