I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
