White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
