I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
50% drunk capacity currently
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
