Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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