PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
