Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
