I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
