He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
