Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
