he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
