They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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