I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
