His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
