I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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